Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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