five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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