so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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