We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
