Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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