Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
