I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
