Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
