First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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