It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
