I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
