i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
They took my balls.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
