i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
