Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
look no pants
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
