It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
