I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
