Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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