you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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