ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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