god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
