haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
