i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize