She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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