i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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