blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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