He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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