I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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