So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
