Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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