Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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