i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
