the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
