And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
