im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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