dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
this is an emotional support booty call
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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