I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize