The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
