blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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