HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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