I could have mohawked her pubes.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
