nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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