I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
