she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
