I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
