and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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