There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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