dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
