My balls are so social today.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
