i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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