I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
