she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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