His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
