did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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