just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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